Sex: Conduit to Connection

Human beings, both male and female, were made incomplete. We were conceived with the need for a companion, a counterpart in our life. We were not designed to endure life alone. Anyone who has children can attest to the fact that from the time they are out of the womb males and females are innately different. It's not learned behavior. It's genetic. It's hormonal. It's in our basic biological DNA. Emotionally, mentally, physically and spiritually we require bonding and connection with another person. Men connect one way. Women connect another way. Sex is the shared conduit that opens the door to all other means of communication. When you make-love (which the Bible refers to as "knowing" your spouse), you are just that..."in the know." Inhibitions minimize. Communication channels become clearer. Sexual intercourse promotes openness in a relationship and keeps the marital arteries from becoming clogged. It is because of this almost magical power it has that I urge couples to be sexually active in their marriages a minimum of 3-4 times per week. Minimum.

It's a commitment to give yourself to the benefit and health of your marriage even when you're tired. Even when you're ticked off. Even when you'd rather be shopping or reading or taking a bubble bath. It's a commitment you honor because it reaps not just physical benefits, but meets deep-rooted emotional, mental and spiritual needs.

If you don't believe me, try it for 30 days. I guarantee it will change your marriage in a very positive way!

On The Edge

I read something this evening that struck a chord in me that I pray will reverberate in my soul forever, as a constant reminder.

"When God leads you to the edge of a cliff, trust Him fully and let go. Only one of two things will happen...either He will catch you when you fall, or He will teach you how to fly."

The power of God unleashed by the simplicity of the power of fatih. Just be certain it is God leading you to the cliff. If it is, let faith empower you to trust beyond fear, to hope beyond logic, to push beyond limitation, to embrace despite conflict and to love beyond restriction.

Everything happens for a reason. Believe first and then you will see.

Ungrasped Inbetween

Somewhere in unspoken words lies the thread of truth in every conversation. His side. Her side. And the reality is somewhere in the ungrasped inbetween. I cannot find words to describe a feeling I myself do not understand. He cannot find logic in an explanation I am unable to offer. So we stand, face-to-face, in an epiphany of distorted comprehensions. Here we are, angry and frustrated. I teeter on the edge... on the edge of what? That is the question. He watches in the throes of helplessness. How does he fix what he can't see to be broken? When words fail to soothe what is left? Can affection fill in the blanks until hearts learn to connect again? I am understanding now that when a soul is exhausted rest can only be found in the arms of God. All else fall short in comforting a weakened spirit. In the arms of God is a peace that surpasses all he cannot understand and everything I cannot find words to explain. God's hands are the equalizer that sits in the beyond and holds us together, inside and out.

If you're on the edge today, look to the right or to your left and see you are not alone. Many of us from every walk of life are standing next to you, feeling the same stress, facing the same failures, hurting just as you are. Fall today into the arms of your Creator and find the peace and restoration your soul needs to go on. I promise you will stand again, inwardly fulfilled and comforted.

S.C.R.E.A.M.!!!!!!

Have you ever been so entrenched in life's circumstances that you feel you're going to smother? Like you're walking in quicksand. The more you fight to get out the deeper you sink. The more you sink the greater the panic. The greater the panic the more you fight to survive. It becomes a vicious cycle of destruction. When all that sticks above the surface is your face, you have but one thing left to do: scream. Aaahhhhhhhhh!! We have all found ourselves knee deep, chest deep, even neck deep in life's quicksand. We have all faced those moments when spewing forth a desperate scream is all we have left. Words have failed. Tears have dried. Reasoning has left. When Sorrowful Crushing Reality Eats Away Meaning in life. SCREAM! Sometimes it takes sobbing to release the emotion that cripples you. Sometimes it is the mere release of emotion that opens the door to restoration. This world is often like quicksand, sucking us in and pulling us under. Like quicksand, the only escape from life's pressures is in the relaxation and release of the struggle. When sorrowful crushing reality eats away meaning, let yourself scream… Seek Christ, Release Emotion and Allow Mercy. Scream your head off! Scream until you have no strength left. In this release you will find the rescue of a foothold in the promise that God's grace is sufficient to carry you through all life's sorrowful circumstances. (II Corinthians 12:9) His grace is indeed enough to pull you from the pit of despair. Life's quicksand has no power in the strength of God's peace.

Going Through the Motions...with no Emotion!

Almost all marriages begin with romance. Somewhere down the road it fades. Daily life often leaves little time and less energy. Thus, we begin to settle for comfort over excitement. To climb into bed and snuggle up is easier than lighting candles, turning on music and pursuing physical intimacy...especially after a long day at work. Exhaustion plays a huge role in marital lethargy. It becomes a trigger for the emotional disconnect between spouses. The disconnect happens slowly over time. One day you wake up and realize you've been going through the motions and it's caused separation and loneliness in your heart.

For most couples, their marriage is not something they would label "troubled" or "bad." It just "is." It exists, but it doesn't live.

I am here to tell you that your marriage can not just live, but thrive again! An old relationship will never be "new" but it can be renewed. The feeling that is lacking right now can flourish in your heart again.

Spouse In My House can help you re-ignite a flame you thought burned out a long time ago.

Are you ready to add emotion to your marital motions?

Marriage is supposed to be the most intimate of all human relationships. It's designed to share the good, the bad, the pretty and the ugly in every aspect of life. It was foundationally formed to endure the test of time. And with a little help and a lot of prayer, it can!

On the intimacy scale is your marriage a one or a ten? Or do you, like most couples, fall somewhere in the stagnant inbetween? Do you suffer from what I call “the Spouse in my House” syndrome.

Do you feel your spouse shares your home, but not your heart? Do you have the sensation that intimacy is so close yet discouragingly unattainable? Is there an emptiness that comes with knowing everything about someone and not having anything new or exciting to say to them? Are you bored in your relationship? Has it become predictable and mundane? Are you too exhausted to even want more? Have you lost hope in the possibility of your marriage improving?

Spouse In My House is designed to address marital emotions and conflicts and open your eyes to the posibility that your marriage can not only be salvaged, but feel exciting again!