A Kiss From Heaven

It was a beautiful morning in the Mayan Riviera Mexico and I walked the beach … well after breakfast, and well after all the serious shell collectors had come and gone. I was searching for small shells to take home and string into a necklace for my daughter, but there were no shells to be found… at least none worthy of keeping. As I walked, I started talking to God. I didn't know what to pray or whom to pray for. I tried praying my usual, "Thank you for this day…. Please protect my family … blah, blah, blah.." the words sounded as empty as I felt.

I was feeling frustrated, as I have most of my life, because I never seem to "fit" anywhere. I've never been certain that I was doing what I was meant to do, or living the life I was supposed to live. No matter how close I am to people or circumstances, I somehow still feel disconnected, like there is a plug somewhere that hasn't found the proper outlet. As I walked the beach that morning I began to pray, "God, where do You want me? What am I supposed to be doing? I know You are Lord and Savior of my life and my soul and my heart, and I know I am nothing without You, BUT why do I feel so lost? I don't want to test you, God, because I believe You are the all-powerful, Almighty God, but I want to feel you, and touch you, and I need to see you."

Staring out at the ocean, I told God that I loved Him, but that I didn't even know how to pray. "Take my life, my soul, my heart, God. Take it all for Your cause, just please show me that You're here and You're hearing me." I reminded Him that people in Old Testament times saw physical evidence of His power, and that I wanted to see that same evidence. I thought about Moses and the burning bush, and all those who witnessed the parting of the Red Sea, and ate manna from Heaven every morning in the wilderness. I knew I shouldn't NEED proof, as faith is believing in the unseen, but I desperately needed to see God.

I walked a little further, all the while telling God what a weak, unworthy, stupid sinner I am. "I'm just stupid, " I said, mentally comparing myself to my mother and sister, who outwardly have unshakable faith. "I want THAT faith!," I told Him.

Finally I gave up my search for shells and realized I was almost back to where I had begun, so I stopped to pray one last time. Facing the ocean I said, "God, I'm not testing you, but I'm asking you to give me a sign, one that is without a doubt from You, and one that I will never forget. "Lord", I continued "if you will send me the "perfect" shell, right here on this beach in the midst of these thousands of broken shell fragments, then I will know that you've heard me and it's from You and only You."

I stood for a few moments letting the water splash around my ankles as each new wave rolled in and made its way out again. Then as I turned to take a step, I saw it. Laying near my right foot was a PERFECT SHELL! It wasn't chipped, it wasn't dirty, and it was so large that it filled my entire hand as I lifted it from the sand. I knew that it could never have been missed by the anyone else walking that beach before me. It was exactly as I imagined it would be.

The wave of emotion that rushed over me was so tender that I cried. I felt Jesus' love gently enveloping me, assuring me that I belong to Him, that I'm okay and right where I'm supposed to be. I had asked Him for a sign that I could never forget and I know that someday I will be telling my grandchildren about the unforgettable day when Jesus blew me a kiss from heaven in the form of a "perfect shell".

If you've ever felt like God isn't listening or doesn't care... He does and He is... and all you have to do is ask Him.