Weighted Down Attraction

What happens when you wake up one day and find yourself no longer physically attracted to your spouse?

It goes without saying the human body changes with time. Cellulite takes over our thighs, hips widen, butts enlarge, hair thins, teeth yellow, heads go bald, bellies bulge, hair grays, veins you didn't know you had, pop out to add artistic impression, and breasts display a sudden need to reach toward your knees. Metabolism slows and you start to realize you can't eat all the stuff you could before. That mid-night cheeseburger binge now sits in your stomach like a rock and you start to feel you gain weight just by looking at yummy foods! Bodily changes affect all of us and can definitely hinder attraction, reduce sex drive and put distance in a relationship.

When changes in your spouse's appearance begin to negatively affect how you feel about him or her, it's time to take action. First, go look in the mirror and truthfully note all the things you think your spouse may not find attractive about you. We all have areas that need improvement and before you can point out theirs you need to look at yours. Second, focus on the positive things that you love and enjoy about your spouse. Focus on the inner attributes and let those draw you near. Third, and most difficult of all, have an open dialogue about your feelings and devise a plan together. Find ways to increase nutrition, lower fat and calories, and exercise together. Get creative with your ideas as you find ways to get the blood pumping. Tackle this issue with a "you and me against the world" mentality; with both of you commiting to a healthier, more active lifestyle.

Marriage is a commitment "for better or for worse." Sometimes "for worse" entails having conversations on tender topics like weight and aging. How you present your feelings is key to the success of overcoming this hurdle. Tread tenderly on emotional terrain, making sure you don't point fingers but rather take hands and walk together toward a healthier life.