Egos & Assholes

I listened to a woman complain about a man she is dating, and his inflated ego. It made me laugh out loud and brought back memories of a guy I dated in college. He thought he was God's gift to this universe. His arrogance was not completely unjustified, as he was very good looking and a sharp dresser…however, the buck stopped there. On the personality meter he scored below zero, though he thought he was quite witty. One night we were going to a military ball and I was wearing a red strapless evening gown. He came to pick me up and said, "is THAT the gown you're wearing tonight?" I joked, saying, "no, this is the evening gown I usually wear to answer the door, my other gown is upstairs." He was annoyed by my sarcastic quip and went on to tell me that red was too cliché and I should be wearing a black gown. An argument ensued wherein I told him to find another date for the ball. He stormed out, but before leaving he turned around and said, "I'm the best thing that ever happened to you and you just threw me away." I stared at him wondering how an ego that large could lurk in one human body. Then I shut the door and never looked back.

I ran into him years later at a restaurant. He sauntered up to me and said, "you probably don't remember me." I answered, "sure I do… you were the best thing that ever happened to me." He blushed. I smiled and added, "and I threw you away." Then I left and never looked back again.

There are enough good-hearted, down-to-earth men out there, leaving no need for any woman to tolerate such egotism. Egos are like assholes, full of hot putrid air!