Long Live the Queen

I don't know why it is, but for some reason women think we should feel overwhelmed with joy upon our husband's reappearance into the home after a lengthy business trip. We should feel a desire to run to him and blissfully embrace him with wholehearted thankfulness upon his homecoming. We should leap passionately into his arms, smothering him with kisses! We should beg him never to leave again for we can scarcely scrape by without him!

Keep THAT dream alive!

Unless you are a Stepford Wife or live in Beaver Cleaver Land this is not reality. The real picture is more like this… He leaves on a business trip, leaving you to run the household, tend to the children, do all the carpooling, cook, clean, help with homework, bathe the kids, read to the kids, play with the kids, and handle any unforeseen malfunction which occurs while he's away. Then, if you work you scramble to get yourself ready and go to your own job. Let's face it…you do most of this when he's in town… so doing it when he's gone isn't a big change. The subtle difference is when he is out of town you lose your buffer zone. You don't get to take a breath. You have no back-up in the home. The kids know it. You know it. So everything functions like a military base on heightened alert. Everyone in the home knows the schedule and operates accordingly. It runs as a well-oiled machine…as a well-behaved kingdom and you are Queen!

Now, the King returns. From the moment he steps one foot in the door, your kingdom enters a realm of chaos. Daddy's home and Daddy doesn't know the rules in the kingdom. Daddy doesn't adhere to the schedule. Daddy tries to over-rule the Queen! Is it no wonder thoughts of mutiny enter your royal mind? You grit your teeth, forcing a smile. He obliviously smiles back, with no idea what's in your head. Tension mounts. He does things like take the kids outside to play after you just bathed them! He doesn't enforce bedtime because their "favorite" show is on… even though every mom knows the show right before bedtime is always the "favorite!" The children work him like a charm and you watch as he creates little beasts out of your once noble subjects. You get angry. He is confused. For, in his mind, the King has returned…there should be great celebration with banquet tables of food and wine! You crawl into bed his first night back and he wraps his arms around you. For a brief moment you exhale and think, it's nice to have him home, to hold you. Then his hand moves from your waist to your breast…you roll your eyes and utter, "you've got to be kidding me."

He's excited, he's missed you. You're tired, frustrated by the chaos he caused. He wants you. You want sleep.

Feeling agitated when your husband returns from a trip is normal. He brings with him extra laundry and you now have to alter your cooking to fit his taste, which is usually substantially more work than feeding yourself and the kids. Feeling frustrated upon his return is no reflection of your love for him. It just takes a couple days to adjust to the King being home. Cut yourself some slack in the guilt department and remember: Long Live The Queen!