Wipe, Flush, Walk Away

A friend recently emailed about a topic that has weighted down my heart. I empathize with her frustration and hurt. She shared a story about a relationship that ended badly and how she felt more affected by this man's lies than the fact that their romance was over. Whether we are talking about a romantic relationship or a platonic friendship, whether it is someone of the opposite sex or the same sex, words can tear your heart out. As little kids on a playground we holler, "you take that back," when someone insults us. In real life, in the adult world, there are no "take backs." Words wound deep. They don't just stab one time, but lie dormant in your heart and fester. They rot self-confidence, eat away self-esteem and gnaw at the very fabric of self-worth. Words literally destroy people from the inside out. We can all think of a time in our life when we said something we wish we could take back. We all have skeletons tucked away, things we wish we hadn't done. It hurts when someone drags them out and shoves them in our face. It hurts when they twist the past to fit a present motive and manipulate the perspective of your heart's intent. It hurts when someone believes something about you that isn't true… or that hasn't been true for a very long time. When someone hurts us with words we begin to build walls around our heart. We begin to suspect that others in our life will hurt us in this same fashion. We begin to fear that those we have entrusted with our secrets, our past sins, the essence of our shattered humanity will one day turn on us as well. We fear their judgment and ultimately their rejection. It is no wonder, after our heart has been stomped on, that we briefly take a step back from everyone in our world. It is natural to withdraw, to want to hide and run away.

Bitter words bring deep-rooted sorrow. Sorrow that causes intermittent tears and a broken spirit. There is no logical answer as to why people callously strike out at others with a viperous tongue. There is no explanation for such hatefulness. There is no vaccine to remove the sting when you are bitten by their words. I understand your urge to defend yourself, but to what avail? Cling to the truth in your heart with white-knuckled determination. Don't allow one man's bitter words to annihilate you. He has no right to be your judge and jury. We all have a past worth running from. We all have something to hide. God is the only judge. The reason God is the only judge is because He is the only one who is able to look at the heart, not merely at words and actions. God sees intent. God knows motive. God understands desire. I encourage you to cling to this truth and let other people's judgments on your life fall where they belong… then wipe, flush and walk away.